Each morning is the first day of the rest of your life

Okay, it's the start of a new week (stretches arms wide, scratches bits and yawns expansively), what joys are ahead of me as I canter gaily (steady) into the elective part of the course?

Ah, I have some email-oh look it's from those lovely CPS people!

What can they be writing to me about?
but wait-I have an application with them! Could this be? Is it? Perhaps?

Eagerly and expectantly, I open the attachment and find

"Dear Candidate, (god, don't you just go gooey when they are so intimate?)

Thank you...blah de blah...we regret to inform you...blah

We do appreciate that this may be disappointing for you (no sheepdip Sherlock!)

And that's it-there is an address to write to if I want to be told why they thought I didn't cut it but that's a modern thing, in my day we just got rejected and displayed a stiff upper lip (before getting violently drunk and lamping a student), we had none of this touchy feely stuff.
I may write to them though since part of me is intrigued on which part of the assessment I fell down on (or possibly both). I would dearly love to have been rejected for the psychometric tests since this would give me a valid reason to get disenchanted and bitter and inspire me to work in criminal defence and make the CPS' life miserable.
Of course if the criminal part of the assessment let me down, then fair enough!


But why could they not have had the decency to write to me? It's depressing enough to get form letter rejections but form email rejections? That is so cheap as to be unbelievable! And then you get to worry if they might have made a mistake and rejected someone they should have accepted. I applied 4 months ago, went through 3 stages of application-spent money getting to an assessment (note, no offer was ever made to cover expenses), all things together it probably took about 10 hours what with the application/assessments and travelling-and used up a day close to my compulsaries-all this for a form rejection email!!!

So, that was Monday! I hope they're not all like that...

Contrary to popular opinion, I didn't rush off to get drunk. My new policy is drink to celebrate, not commiserate-besides I was back in school on Tuesday...

Very strange week this one, I only had to go to school twice-both just for an hour lecture. Tuesday was the start of Advanced Criminal Practice. A large lecture-well, sort of. The first thing that surprised me is how few people are doing criminal. My tutor group had done a straw poll in basic criminal (criminal for babies I shall call it) and there were just two of us. I took that to be disproportional-after all this is CRIMINAL!! This is the stuff of Kavanagh, Rumpole, New Street Law (yes, I know that they are all about barristers but nevertheless)-

This is epic, adversarial battle in the courtroom. This is the lifeblood of law! No one writes dramas about the cut and thrust of probate or selling property. This is the divine mix of the saintly and the sordid. This is life changing law!!!

Isn't it funny how you become affected by your loves...

Amazingly, there were only about 30 or so of us-and at least 10 of those arrived late. Two people arrived over quarter of an hour late-and made no apologies. How can you only have 1 lecture in a day and be that late? I was there early enough to put the chairs out (mind you, that may say more about me than them...)

Anyhow, this was a major letdown. Almost the entire hour was spent with the lecturer talking about what we would have to do to qualify as an accredited police station representative. Which might be great-but we are not going to get tested on it in an exam, so why bother?

We also got a repeat of what a solicitor should do for their client at the station. Which is lovely but not really representative. I have some experience of observing at the nick and in every case I've seen so far the advice has been the same

• To hassle the police
• To try to get the client out on bail immediately
• To analytically pick holes in the police case

Its all theoretical tosh.

Your average client seems to be either drug or alcohol dependant, completely guilty, usually admitting it in 5 seconds and ready to pay their fine out of their giro in weekly instalments (usually adding it to what they are paying already).
The police have come across as a decent bunch doing an awful job-who are not trying to stitch up honest, middle class citizens but trying to get through the day without breaking down or losing their minds.

If you were to enter THEIR station with the uppity attitude that the CofL is trying to instil in its future trainees then you are asking for trouble. (It would be interesting how many trainees develop cars that have repeated problems with dodgy lights and parking tickets).

And while I'm ranting a little-this weeks prep for the next workshop. Its just like 'baby criminal' all over again. 'Just read these 88 pages of A4 and prepare notes'. No indication of what is relevant-just do it all. Now, granted this is covering a lot of ground that we did in 'baby crim'-but it still meant reviewing and rewriting my notes. It seems that my (close to) £9k pays for a lot of 'just read the textbook' and we'll mark you on it at the exam stage'.

And the lecturer-a very nice man I'm sure.

But, he has a style of speaking that might be considered a tad....irritating?

When he speaks about the irrelevent stuff; asides/throw away lines or background information then he speaks a few words...

...pauses a while...

...says a few more words...

...deeply pauses, satisfied with his content and approach...

..and speaks some more.

And on the rare occasion that he said something of note:-

"Heranallhiswordstogethersofastastomakeyourheadspinletalonetrytokeepupwithhimwhilstnotetaking.

(He ran all his words together so fast as to make your head spin let alone try to keep up with him whilst note-taking)

Hopefully this was opening night nerves and not a permanent arrangement.

One nice highlight; is that for our education we have been referred to a number of blogs dealing with the life and times of a duty solicitor, a magistrate, a police officer and a probation officer. I do notice that there appears to be a space there for the jaundiced view of a mature student...

I shall make some enquiries

So that was Tuesday! I hope they're not all like that...

Wednesday is my welfare and immigration day. We start of with another large group. I have decribed this tutor as 'Tigger on speed'. Yes, it's him again. This may test my self control. He presents the large group lecture and is also my small group tutor. I am the first one in so we get a chance to reacquint. He says he is pleased to see me because I am a 'good student'. I then have a momentary pang of disquiet for what I have written about him-it passes quickly.

I am in the second row-this room is huge, we have 8 rows with about 12 chairs in each and I eagerly await the lecture. What I know about immigration I could write on a postage stamp-so this will be an eye-opener. He advises me to get a seat close to the front because some of his overheads are quite small. I move to the front row. I hear people come in and the tutor asks them to come to the front for the same reason. After a while he says it is time to start. I look around. There are 8 of us...

Eight-yes really, we are in a room set for about 90-100 people and we fill most of the front row. And this class will be split in two for workshops. Why? Is a class size of 8 now considered too large?
This is a guy who picks on students by name!
Where can I hide in a class of 3 others? (bunking off is going to be tricky!)
And if we are given a register to fill in I will flip!

Of course this being the CofL there is no guarantee that they will be two groups of 4, no probably more likely to be a 6 & 2...


The lecture itself was good though, Tigger has a easy-going friendly style (and he doesn't pick on people or make them give presentations in this format) It is going to be a tough subject-it relies heavily on deciphering statute and applying the provisions to specifics-especially regarding nationality and there are already a few anomolies.

For instance, a German could marry a Sri Lankan in Germany and move to this country quite easily (providing they came for a legitimate reason)-but a UK citizen could marry a Sri Lankan whilst the UK citizen was working in Germany and if they came back to the UK, they could exercise their rights as a UK citizen OR their rights as an EC citizen-but both would have more stringent tests for them than are in place for the German and their spouse. A form of discrimination against your own people! This sounds wonderful and the sort of ridiculous law I love!

Regular readers will remember my other gripe against Tigger-he overran frequently. And guess what? Yep, as on cue, we overran. By half an hour! Which is pretty good going for an hour lecture! But I shall not complain! I shall look upon it as a form of compensation for being short changed regarding tutoring elsewhere. Not a very good form, maybe but...

So, that was Wednesday! I hope that they're not all like that...

And that's it for the week really. I did some work Thurs/Fri/Sat/Sun but I'm not in a routine yet. This may take some time-I shall have to try some stuff this week and see if it works.

And lastly a thought inspired by the sunshine;

Spring appears to be on the way and with it new opportunities.

(this blog is sponsored by Prozac)