A fool returns to their folly like a dog returns to its vomit...

...is my favourite quote from the Bible (I can't give you Book, Chapter and verse but I think it is from Proverbs)

Yes, College is back. I was one of the lucky ones-we restarted on Weds the 3rd, some of the other poor buggers had to go back on Tues (which apparently was announced in the press the next day as the big national 'sickie' since more workers phoned the boss with a feeble,

"sorry, I think I caught flu over Christmas **feeble cough**, I'll be in the moment I have the strength to get out of bed **even more feeble cough**"

But not us hardy LPC souls (though saying that two didn't make it back-one is hospitalised with pneumonia-although it is a guy so it could just be a bad attack of the sniffles...)

And now the important stuff, the 'how much work will Paul do over Christmas' sweepstake results. I've had a lot of interest with bids ranging from 'very little' to 'working himself to death' (thanks Mum!). Much as I'd like to award the prize to family, I'm afraid that I can't. So the person who put, 'less than you wanted to but more than you expected to' wins.

For the record I did work Christmas Day (although I think only to impress other people-god, I'm so shallow...) New Years day was a full days study, mind-but then New Year is such a non-event to me that it doesn't really count.

New term, new subjects. There is a distinct mood around the place-it all feels a bit sad and wistful. This might have been generated by the GDL students who were sitting their first exams but to me it does seem that our workshop group has lost a bit of its spark as we realise that we only have just 4 weeks of workshops together to go.
Although I can't really say that I have any really close friends amongst them, I will be very sad when we are broken up to be reconstituted into different groups for the electives which fill the latter part of this term and next term.
There is also a little stress and panic developing as people realise that in just over a month we will take our compulsary exams-and the work is not letting up to allow us to get organised and revision ready.

Wednesday is normally a non-college day for me but this week we had workshops planned for the last three days of the week. We kicked off with one of those new subjects-criminal law.

Yes, finally-I get to do criminal law!!!

Fortunately, It was not the huge anti-climax that I may have been expecting. Our first workshop looked at;
a) What happens when a suspect is arrested-the processing at the police station, the detention and interviewing of the suspect and a brief overview of their rights
b) the solicitor's role in the police station. How to look after your client and when you should advise him to give a 'no comment' interview and when to co-operate more fully.

We only have 5 weeks to get to grips with the basics so the reading (80+ pages of A4) is quite substantial. This was combined with two video tutorials and made a very meaty amount of prep (it was the reason that Monday was cancelled as far as I was concerned). The workshop was handled in a fun, quite informal way. We started off with a straw poll-only 2 of the class will be doing the advanced crim course-so not a popular course then **sob**.
This is probably to do with the way that criminal solicitors get paid (i.e. badly) but is also tied up with the sordid and slighly 'dirty' nature of the subject (and from my experience of the cells in Exeter and Torquay the clientel).

We will be following a case study of a man suspected of burglary-the basic background is that he is an ex-con with no job, living on social security with his girlfriend, a history of drug use and self harm. (as I said, slightly sordid and dirty-god, I love it!!!)

Since our week was a little out of synch, we went from this workshop into the large group lecture for business law and practice. This was the worst attended session I have ever been to. We would normally have about 60 people-at best we got 30. Now I'm not saying that there was anything funny going on but I reckon that the attendance register that gets passed around during these sessions had at least 50 signtures on it (10 of them identical in the same pen). It's good to have mates, innit...?

Thursday was the 'welcome' return of Property law-we've moved on into the dizzying world of leasing/letting or renting out of houses/offices/business space. Again for this workshop we had two video tutorials and about 60 pages of A4 to read and make notes on. (that's Tuesday cancelled...) And boy was it a waste of time or what! No-honestly, a complete waste of a day of my life. All that prep was not remotely needed for the session. All we did was have a general discussion about leases (basic LLB stuff) and study the provisions of the lease that will make up our case study to the end of the course.

I used to be really poor at reading statute and legal speak but I definitely have got better during this course (of course some will still remain Armenian-but that's just duff drafting, right **cough**). In fact, one of the guys on our table expressed the view, 'why can't anyone put this stuff in simple English?'. I then read her the translation that I had made and asked 'is that simple enough?' With hindsight that was waaaaay too arrogant-but she was grateful for my comment so I guess I got away with it.

What amazes me is that I have no self confidence at all but can be astoundingly arrogant when I'm not being careful (and yet I always say that confidence and arrogance are two sides of the same coin...)

We probably had 15 people in that workshop and I have to guess that at least half had done no prep at all. At least that's what it seemed to me (in fact, one complete table had not prepped between them-so they kept their heads down, avoided the gaze of the tutor and timed their writing to begin whenever he appeared to be about to be asking a question-good technique, I use it myself in Business law...)
The reason for the lack of preparation is probably down to the tutor-he is so laid back he is almost horizontal. Unlike some of our tutors he asks questions to the room rather than individual students. If the room doesn't answer, then he offers a solution himself. I really like this style. It is very comfortable and easy going and the workshops pass agreeably and quickly and I'm not made to look a prat. That's not to say that I don't have my prat-like visage moments-but if I do they're my fault because I volunteered a stupid answer and not because I was put on the spot.

Which brings me neatly to Fridays and my weekly pain that is Business. The tutor for this is a complete contrast to the Property one. This tutor is really 'in your face', he throws questions around and directly aims them at students. He either refers to 'Paul's table' or to 'Paul'-both of which mean I have to answer, since any question to 'my table' means that the others can sit back and enjoy my pain.
**Disclaimer** In the interests of truth-and because at least one of my table reads this, I have to say that this is an exaggeration-well a lie really, but stick with it for dramatic reasons. My table are a great bunch of 'guys' (NB this is guys of the feminine persuasion)-none of us are real business bods but we bimble through.

Well, I got one of his 'Paul' questions, so no chance for the 'guys' to bail me out. I was about to speak and 'oh my god-it happened again!!' I was lost for words-nothing throughout my whole life and now twice in a month!! This is getting serious-thank god there is only one more oral exam (well, 2 including a practice) I could finish this course and end up becoming a Trappist monk.

That's the silent ones if you didn't know (I wasn't sure myself-I had to 'google' it)

This week I also handed in my letter writing assessment. I spent enough time on it but I wasn't happy. Mine only came to 3 pages and 2 lines. Most of my classmates stretched as far as 5 pages. So I padded it out with extra bumpf. Even then I was not happy and time was running low so I printed it out and headed off to school. On the way I thought of a way to improve it so I went straight to a computer room, loaded it up (aren't memory sticks wonderful?) and knocked off my changes to get to something that I was content with (please note-not happy).

I handed it in with about 20 minutes to go and then what? They give me another bloody assessment. This one is the drafting of something or other (I can't bring myself to look at it) and has to be in a couple of weeks or so. I have no idea where I will get the time, as I say the prep has gotten heavier this last week. This morning I prepped for our next new course-Insolvency which starts on Tuesday. It was quite interesting but another business course? Bleurgh!

Now where did I leave that vomit...?

Oh, BTW I should have mentioned it in the last blog I wrote but I found that I'm through to the next stage of my CPS application. The psychometric test may have been bad but it must have equally bad for everyone and I scored sufficient to be considered for stage 3.