Good days & Bad days (primal scream theory)

Well, it had to happen. This week I had my first proper thoughts about jacking it all in and doing something different. It's difficult to put my thoughts into words but the cumulative effect of all the things that I don't like came to a head and I had no way to express my frustration. It would be nice (and sensible) to have a way to let off steam during the week but I don't, so it all builds until **poof**

(**note to self** must be careful how I put that)

I was staggered when a couple of weeks back a friend on the course referred to me as 'an angry person'-that was one of the things that I badly wanted to avoid. I wanted to be 'cool Paul', 'laid back Paul', 'do anything for anyone Paul' not 'Mr Angry of Guildford' or even the '**poof** boy'.

(**note to self** must be very careful how I put that)

There was no one event that I could point to that took me over the edge. Just a slow accumulation of things that have frustrated me. Some course based, some me based. I have noticed that of late, my temper has gotten shorter (and usually about increasingly more trivial things). I feel a general sense of depression over the amount of independent study I have to do and of course the exams and examinable pieces of work are starting to become more imminent and pressing.
I think that it's the independent study thing that is aching the most-I've put a lot of money into this course and a lot of time so far. Yet getting 10 hours a week for my £8750 (and don't forget the pay off of another £250 to the Law Society for god knows what) does not seem what we former blobs in the retail industry called VFM.
In addition the College way of teaching in these 'supervised' sessions-give you a task to do in practise about which you only know the theory, then when you've bolloxed it up-giving you a perfect tutor made version is also getting on my pecs. I keep wanting to scream,

'OI, I've paid a bloody fortune for this, just swadding teach me!!!' (or words to that effect)

It appears that the College of Law's motto is 'Learning by failing'. Where this gets my goat is that for the exams (which are open note) we'll be allowed to take in anything we like (provided we can cram it into a lever arch file-Ive now got 3 of those to go with the 15 (!) A4 binders). Will anyone take in their failed version of those tasks?

NO, they'll take in the tutor written ones.

So why do we have to do them? Surely it would be better to see the perfect specimen and then draft ours based on that one? (like is done in practise) Or do the College feel that we have to have our spirits crushed first like heart broken puppies (oops sorry, should be 'house broken puppies'-nar, what the hell-looks good!)

Right, rant over, steam leaking out of ears. Mr **Poof** is behind me.

(**note to self** must be very, very careful how I put that)

There was a slight mood of worry about the College for the first couple of days. The Law Society were in town to examine the College's facilities and teaching (hope they brought magnifying glasses, ha!) and the staff were a bit edgy. It was all a lottery about who went where and saw what-would our numbers come up...?

Monday was our last property session this term. We'll come back to leasehold in the new year but our next session with that tutor (after the exams) will be for solicitors accounts (hurrah, more accounts!) Although we've only had 6 sessions, I have two full A4 folders for this one. It's safe to say that in the next couple of days I'm going to be doing a lot of delousing of my folders. Quite a bit of property can go, it's a subject that generates huge amount of useless paperwork (searches that show nothing, questions that give no information, long 'standard' contracts that repeat themselves)-all ripe for the recycling bin.

There was a drop off in attendance for the tax class on Tuesday. The combination of our least liked tutor, possible inspection by the Law Society and an imminent deadline for our research project meant we staggered in at just over half attendance (and much pity was shown for the only person who turned up for one of the tables-he had to do all 'his' group's presentations-as well as do the work solo)

Alas, we had no assessors sitting in with us-shame!

Wednesday was all of a panic as the entire LPC year put the finishing touches (translation-got off their behinds and did the work) to their first research projects of the year. This is serious work, it is marked on a 'competent or not competent' basis. Those found 'not' will have to retake a different project later this year and automatically are unable to attain the highest pass mark for the course. It does seem bizarre that we had about a month to do this but almost to a man, everyone did it the day before and polished it up on the day it was due to be handed in.

About the only thing in my favour is that mine was probably one of the longest that was handed in. Of course, size doesn't matter. Which is what everyone with a short essay tells you. And what everyone who has a mark a short essay tells you. But we know better, huh? **cough**

Anyhow, I handed in my monster the next day. Very strange-a queue of people handing in work and receiving receipts (the work is anonymous-identified only by the student number which (allegedly) the markers have no knowledge of which student is tied to which number). I have a suspicion though that anyone reading my work will know who wrote it. The sheer amount of 'anyhows' and 'however's will give it away for sure...

Anyhow **cough**, Thursday was the day when it all went pear-shaped. The afternoon civil litigation class (7 down, 3 to go) was awful-a classic of the 'go on, you now write down this legal document that you dont know how to draft-I'll then patronise you and a little bit later hand out this pristine one, to make you feel about as high as a dachsunds wedding tackle' school.

I may have paraphrased that a tad.

I then hung around for nearly two hours for the first workshop in my Public Legal Services course. This is purely optional and for those people who either want to work in or know about 'legal aid' (its not really called that anymore though-but the man in the street still does-much to the Legal Service Commission's distaste)

1) we had a lecture, it was awful-full of 'trade speak', acronyms and the word 'superficial' does not do it justice. The speaker then finished her lecture with a slide that was asking for 'young solicitors' to work for the LSC. I could spit.

2) two of the most annoying human beings on the planet are in the group. Both of these two males (oh god, why does it have to be males?-they set the gender back 500 years) are what are generically referred to as 'spods'. They are so full of their own cleverness and wit that they feel that lesser mortals (i.e. the rest of the class) should get the full benefit of their wisdom and insight whenever possible. They seem incapable of shutting up-every question asked to the room is answered by them, they feel obliged to give their opinions on all and sundry and make me want to scream,

'shut the duck up the pair of you spods' (or similar)

And they are sooooo dull, the sort of people that accountants snicker about and refer to as 'dreary'.

3) My group are so earnest, I want to scream at them, 'look-if you want to work for the underprivileged so much go and help in a soup kitchen or something. You are only doing this because you want something good to put on your CV.'

I was told last week that I was cynical, I disagreed...

Possibly the defining moment (maybe that straw that broke the camel's back) was when one of two spods asked if for the next meeting we could have it quarter of an hour earlier because he had had to wait 15 minutes after his last lecture. Yet again, I wanted to scream,

'some of us had to wait 105 minutes you selfish tosser, but we are
not trying to change the world to fit in with us'

I really must go and lie down soon.

Friday was, well Friday. It's business law day and no matter how hard I try I become Flopsy, Mopsy amd Cottontail in the path of the juggernaut. I try to keep a clear brain but fail. Maybe it's the tutor, maybe it's the subject-but mostly it's the me. I guess that I'll never get that job as director of ICI now.

Now, I have a couple of days to get my notes in order for the first open note exams in 21 years (since I left the last one in tears this can only get better...). The fly in the ointment is that on Tuesday we have a tax class organised. I have a teensy feeling that this may be the worst attended class of the year. The most loathed tutor and an unwelcome interruption to the revision week-well, what do you think?