And finally folks,

Or "Loose ends tied up"

There is something poignant in packing. As an item is stowed it brings with it memories, feelings and emotions. Sometimes they may be, "What was I thinking when I bought this?" but usually it ties in with a person, time or experience. Which possibly explains why it takes me so long...

Plus, I don't really want to do it. This flat has been home for me for nearly a year now and I look upon it as mine. It's a little sad that I have to hand the keys back in the next few days but I've met the new tenant and I'm sure that she'll take care of it.

It's been a good while since I posted, so what has happened in the meantime?

Well, I did get around to signing on. And what with the £59.15 I receive every week for Jobseekers and the contribution of the council for my housing costs I have been living in palatial luxury (well sort of). It is strange to think that I would have to earn in excess of £15,000 a year to have an equivalent standard of living. And all I have to do is make two attempts a week to find work! No, it's true-that is all that the 'Jobseeker's Charter' requires me to do to cop (effectively) £209.15 a week. Even more amazingly, my experiences at the Jobcentre have shown me that this is more than most people do! In almost every interview that I have overheard whilst waiting to sign on, the people before me have been 'prompted' to agree that they 'looked at the local paper/asked about work in a local shop'. (My legal training can now spot a leading question at 20 paces!)

I can say, hand on heart, that I have put far more effort into my job applications. After an initial period of idleness (which has lasted barely 43 years) I got my head down and set myself a target of 4 applications submitted a day. I quickly went through what the College of Law jobs page had to offer (discarding all the ones that I had no chance for e.g. speaking Tamil for one or Mandarin for another) and then began to submit CVs through online employment brokers. And the result?

Well, not so great actually. My online apps yielded me only 1 reply (a rejection) from about 50 attempts. My College of Law apps were more successful-I got offered two interviews fairly early on, one in Battle (Sussex) and one in Bishop's Stortford (South of Cambridge) as well as a few;

'We have received your details and will be making a decision soon but unfortunately have a large number of top quality applications so you may not be successful etc'

(although, for the record it's nice to get a reply of any sort). I also continued to apply to the CPS for a chance, any chance and was offered interviews in Exeter and Guildford (weird that!)

My first interview was CPS Exeter-I travelled down the night before to meet up with friends (no alcohol mind-must be at my best for the interview!). I slept badly though and it was not a great interview-good but not great. I thought that my luck might be in since the chair of the panel was the man who had been the key figure when I did work experience with them the year before.
Except he had forgotten about me...only when we met did he make a mental connection and remember my time there. Interestingly, I got a glimpse of something like, 'Oh cripes, we may have to rethink who we were going to give the job to' cross his face. (My skill at reading body language has come on a treat thanks to the LPC!).
It was a tough interview-pretty much all the questions are based on a 'give examples where you successfully prioritised/planned something' and 'explain your thoughts and reasoning as you went along'. This is very hard (to me at least) and akin to asking 'give an example when breathing has been a good idea' and 'why?'. I was promised a decision later that day.

2 days later I got the rejection that I was expecting.

Ho hum-that's my dream job gone then...

Anyhow, about a week later there I was in Bishop's Stortford having had a nightmare of a journey. No details but sufficient to say that I was in the right place at the right time but the trains were not necessarily there. I ended up having to make a diversion but for all my best efforts knew that I was going to be late. I phoned ahead and was given 20 minutes grace. I made my usual gaffe of going 100% in the wrong direction as I left the station but managed to arrive within the 20 minute window (just).

As an aside, I had found out the weekend before that one of my friends from my LPC tutor group was already working for them. (Handy for her as she lives locally and it allows her to continue looking for 'something better'). This gave me an excellent chance to do some top-quality research. I already knew a fair bit from their web-site and the job details. I phoned her and got a little more info about the 'nut n bolts' that I could casually chuck into the interview. She seemed quite positive about the job (although still looking for her TC).

The work itself-A claimant in a personal injury case get involved with a big national solicitors who then take on their case against their insurers. At the resolution of the case, the claimant gets their compensation (hopefully) and the solicitors then try to claim their costs from the insurers. This can be an arduous job and the specialist niche employment of law costs negotiating exists to cover it. The solicitors pass on the responsibility of getting the costs from the insurers to a third party. My job, if I were to get it, was to be part of the negotiating team. This seemed OK to me, I would be working (indirectly) for the little guy taking on the big faceless monsters that are the insurers. I would be not be involved in confrontation but negotiation so it was ticking all the right boxes.
During the interview I found that although the starting salary was relatively low-(but more than I had earned ever before) after 11 months it went up by nearly 30% and could be around 30k within 3-4 years provided the commitment was given and the work put in.

The interview went amazingly well, my research proved invaluable. I was able to finish some of the interviewer's sentences for him when he explained about the company/work. This is not something I would normally do but I was keen to show that I had put the time in researching.

I was then set a few simple calculations and the interviewer went walkabout. He came back early to get something from his jacket and was stunned to hear that not only had I finished the real problems but also that I had double checked them and was going over some examples he had also given me!
He consulted the other director who also briefly interviewed me. In an almost obscene speed they offered me the job! We agreed to a start date (1st August) and shook hands on the deal.

I left the office in a heady mix of euphoria and relief. The perfect interview?

Well not quite...About 3/4 of the way in my phone rang! I seldom carry my mobile and had forgot to have turned it off (I never get calls or texts-it's purely there for me to call others when on the go). The message? It was from my LPC buddy texting me from the same building asking,

'How did it go?'

Arrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhh!

I texted her back (but after the interview had ended),

"Pretty well until some bint texted me in the middle of it"

But I was saved from my terrible faux-pas when about 2 minutes later the interviewer received a text...

So that's it, I have a job. It's just a question of those last exams. I didn't need an LPC for this job but there was no way I wanted to do a retake in mid August. So, it's just a case of waiting for the 24th of July.

But as the days went by, the doubts started to surface. Is this what I worked 5 years on the degree for? Is this what £20k+ was spent on? To get a job that someone could 'off the street' could do? (although maybe not as well). Plus I was disconcerted by the example that I was shown by the interviewer.

In this, the injured claimant was awarded £1,700 from the insurer. The solicitor was claiming £7k in costs. I was told that this would probably be negotiated down to about £5.5k. Do I want to be involved in this? Where the claimant sees just a quarter of the insurer's losses?
I made a token attempt to find accomodation in Bishop's Stortford but my heart was not in it (plus BS is becoming an estate agent's wet dream and property rental was well out of my budget). I made the most important decision of the year.

I emailed the employer and told them that I would not be taking the position. I tried to let them down gently and used their own key buzz-words about commitment to explain my decision.

A pity really because the email I sent was an excellent example of my negotiating skills...

So it all worked out? I hear you asking. Well, not quite. In my euphoric first day I cancelled my interviews in Battle and with the CPS in Guildford. What a donkey....

The good news was that I still had interviews pending with CPSs Exeter and Reading. The bad news is that when they arrived they were set on Tuesday 24th (Reading) and Weds 25th (Exeter). As you remember, the 24th is results day. My interview was to be at 9.15. In the past, results have been posted at 9.30. It was possible that I could be almost the last to see them!

Anyhow, I put that to one side and did some more preparation for the interviews perfecting the 'how I used breathing in one memorable experience in a work situation' type answers. I was satisfied with the notes I made (not delighted though) and went to bed on the Monday heavily medicated and ready to get a good nights sleep and awake refreshed at 5am.

Except I didn't.

I didn't sleep.

Not one wink.

I got up-I took dangerous levels of medication. Anything to help.

Except it didn't. It did not do a scrap of good. The combination of nerves and excitement had truly screwed me over. I remember writing over a year ago about old habits resurfacing. This is one-some deep seated mental problem that has blighted me for nearly 20 years.

I got up at just before 5am and pottered over to the PC. I logged on and had a surf. One bit of good news-the LPC results were to be posted at 6am! Yay! Rather than be the last to check them, I could be the first!
In my fatigued state that hour seemed to take forever. Eventually, the site updated. Rather than give anonymous results as before the site listed;

Name and grade-that's all.

I checked down the list-I was there. It said;

Salmon Paul, Martin Commendation

I had done, I have passed the LPC!
What a fantastic feeling! I had no marks awarded but I didn't care! I had passed advocacy!

My euphoria was muted however when I checked the rest of the names on the list. Of my tutorial group of 18;

• 3 had got distinctions (well done Claire/Rachel/Rebecca)
• 9 had got commendations
• 6 would have to retake

A third of our group will be back in August. On a personal side this means that I received the highest mark of all the 5 male students in our tutorial group (since 3 must retake and the other got a pass)

In addition (for blog anoraks);

• The male student (a couple of years older than me) who had dismissed our group as being immature and had been transferred to another one to follow his commerical leanings-not on the pass list
• Divvo1-not on the pass list (mature student)
  
• Same for Divvo 2 (yes, despite my earlier misgivings I'm calling him that again-for all his posing and posturing in Advanced Crim)
  
• Those people I sent Advanced Crim notes to? Both got distictions!
  

Despite this misture of results, I left for my interview in great spirits. I was going to be awful but I didn't care! I must have come across as the original grinning Bozo to anyone I passed-but it didn't matter. I had done it.

My trip was good, I found the office really easily and was ridiculously early. I was close to dropping off in the comfy reception chairs when I was called. I was taken up to the Chief Prosecuter's office and interviewed by a panel of two. (Fortunately not the Chief Prosecuter!).

The interview did not start well. In my past I have worked as a volunteer at a centre for disabled young people and although happy to talk about this I was not prepared for the question about a 'specific case where I did something to assist a disabled person in the last two years'. I guess part of the problem is that in my working life I would assist between 50 and 100 a day (or 250 to 500 a week for 48 weeks of the year). As much as any big store talks of 'personal service', you really don't remember individuals specifically (unless they are regulars or friends). I had to honestly admit that no one came to mind. (Although I didn't say, "And if we operate a policy of equality why should I remember a disabled person in particular?")

And onto the next question. These came fast and furious. I was getting plenty of 'excellents' and 'very goods' but was that enough? Did everyone get these? Were they sincere?

And then it was over. Forty minutes had flown by in an instant. I was seen out by the chair of the panel. We talked about my interview in Exeter the next day-we compared crime in Devon and the Thames Valley. I remarked that I was expecting to see a murder every week because that was what Morse used to get (and Oxford is part of Thames Valley). This did not go down well...

I was told that the results would be given to me sometime the next day (my trip to Exeter-an all dayer if there ever was one) but was not optimistic. If only I had had some sleep.

Fortunately I knew that I would sleep well tonight (although collapse or pass out would probably be more accurate).

When I checked my mail I found that my results had arrived! How's that for service! Would my guesses for my marks be correct?

Well no, not really. I got the marks right but the subjects wrong!
In order;

• Welfare/Immigration-Distinction (81%)
• Advanced criminal-Distinction (70%)
• Employment-Pass (55%)

What? How the hell did I do that? I assumed then (and now) that the inputter got the Adv Crim and employment mixed up-it's the only possible explanantion!
This means that my overall percentage was 69.16%. I like to think that this may have given the examining board a slight problem if I had not failed advocacy! Would they have considered upgrading the mark to an overall distinction? We shall never know but I shall pretend...

And so to sleep. Did I sleep better?

Of course I did! I couldn't have slept worse!

But only just-I got maybe 4 hours at the best. The journey to Exeter would take over 4 hours! Problem being I can't sleep on trains. The Reading interview had been OK since it was over by just gone 10. This one wasn't due to start to 1pm. In addition to the lack of sleep I've recorded before that I'm at my best in the mornings and deteriorate past midday.

The flooding meant that the trains had to be diverted and connections were iffy-but I got there in time (just).

This time, a 3 person panel and the interviewing was aggressive from the start. Perhaps they wanted to test me under pressure-but again the interview itself was mostly a blur. I know that I didn't come over as well as I had in Reading but surely they would give me a chance?

I knew that I didn't have it-the panel's body langauge was negative throughout-in contrast with those at Reading. In Reading they collected the documents that I had been asked to prepare and bring with me-Exeter didn't bother, I took them there and carried them home.

I now ask myself, was the Exeter interview fair? Did I really ever have a chance? Was the successful candidate already known to them and did they take his paperwork at the time?

I was musing over these points whilst travelling back to Guildford when my phone rang. Personally I hate those inconsiderate pillocks who take personal calls in public carriages but as regular readers know I am nothing if not hypocritical...

It was from the CPS Reading asking to see if I could talk and would I like some feedback? Already I was dreading the language used. I was asked how I thought the interview went-I said that I gave some good and some bad answers. I was told that nearly all of my answers were very good and I should be very proud if how I came across.

I waited for the inevitable 'but'....

BUT

...it didn't come-It was all positive-they offered me the job!

Did you read that?

THE CPS OFFERED ME A JOB!!!

On the same day as my LPC results came through!

(If this doesn't win me 'Blog of the Year' then there is no justice!)

And that's where I am now. Exeter rejected me (no surprises there) and I am waiting for confirmation from Thames Valley. They have to check my security record/convictions etc and examine my medical record but if all this passes then I start as an A1 within the next month or so.

The post is only for a year but I have achieved my aim-I'm in!

And so I am packing, my lease here runs out at the end of July. Amongst the things that I am throwing out are my LPC notes, my undergraduate notes/essays and other Guildford based bits and pieces. As I said earlier-many memories, some happy-some of chances lost or not taken properly but overall very, very happy ones.

If a year ago someone had offered me an LPC with Commendation and a job in the CPS-would I have taken it?

You bet! Result!