Celebrations and commiserations
Well, that's it.
My youthfulness, naivety and immaturity are no more.
This week I hit the ripe old age of 43. It's now 22 years since I first graduated and 22 until I retire (assuming that the minimum retirement age doesn't rise until then. I have truly hit middle age.
Mind you, I don't feel any older-I've always felt about 60, so no change there.
One thing I have noticed about myself, is that lately I'm getting a weeny bit apathetic regarding my preparation-it's probably not too serious now since the course is almost done-In fact, this week coming contains the last timetabled classes of the year.
There is, however, a definite trend to my prep-it's very much of the, 'well, that's probably good enough'-knowing that we will almost certainly cover it correctly in class, so any shortages can be made up in my consolidation time.
Part of me thinks that this is down to the heat (although it was a lot warmer in April), but a larger part thinks that this is my psyches attempt to disassociate from the course and to reach 'closure'.
Unfortunately the majority of me is of the opinion that I am an idle scrote and looking for any excuse to bunk off.
Fair enough...
When I graduated the first time back in '85, I had the charming misconception that the wide world was waiting with an open cheque-book to sign me up to do exciting things. With this self-delusion in mind I made no attempt to get any interviews before I graduated. I remember people coming to lectures wearing suits but I made no connection with this 'milk-round' that I overheard others talking about.
End result-no job and the first of my periods of unemployment.
Now, 22 years on and I know that this was wrong-the world is not waiting to put me into employment no matter how;
So I looked and found a couple that intrigued me;
The first didn't state;
Well, that did it for me.
Do I seriously want to work for an employer who makes the applicants jump through hoops and at the same time can't be bothered to keep their web-site vaguely up-to-date?
Hmm, time to file it in the 'trash' I feel.
Ah, here's another one.
It gives a firm name/location/start date/salary
Looks good so far...
Areas of law;
My youthfulness, naivety and immaturity are no more.
This week I hit the ripe old age of 43. It's now 22 years since I first graduated and 22 until I retire (assuming that the minimum retirement age doesn't rise until then. I have truly hit middle age.
Mind you, I don't feel any older-I've always felt about 60, so no change there.
One thing I have noticed about myself, is that lately I'm getting a weeny bit apathetic regarding my preparation-it's probably not too serious now since the course is almost done-In fact, this week coming contains the last timetabled classes of the year.
There is, however, a definite trend to my prep-it's very much of the, 'well, that's probably good enough'-knowing that we will almost certainly cover it correctly in class, so any shortages can be made up in my consolidation time.
Part of me thinks that this is down to the heat (although it was a lot warmer in April), but a larger part thinks that this is my psyches attempt to disassociate from the course and to reach 'closure'.
Unfortunately the majority of me is of the opinion that I am an idle scrote and looking for any excuse to bunk off.
Fair enough...
When I graduated the first time back in '85, I had the charming misconception that the wide world was waiting with an open cheque-book to sign me up to do exciting things. With this self-delusion in mind I made no attempt to get any interviews before I graduated. I remember people coming to lectures wearing suits but I made no connection with this 'milk-round' that I overheard others talking about.
End result-no job and the first of my periods of unemployment.
Now, 22 years on and I know that this was wrong-the world is not waiting to put me into employment no matter how;
- Intelligent (**cough**)
- Hardworking (double cough**), OR
- Handsome I am (**collapses coughing, realising that no one will give me mouth-to-mouth and gets up again**)
So I looked and found a couple that intrigued me;
The first didn't state;
- The name of the firm
- The location of the offices (we were told between Surrey and Berkshire)
- The role
- What areas of law the firm deal in
- Start date
- Pay
- Send a handwritten application
- Complete a first interview
- Complete a second interview
- If selected, complete a period of unpaid work experience for them for an unspecified time.
Well, that did it for me.
Do I seriously want to work for an employer who makes the applicants jump through hoops and at the same time can't be bothered to keep their web-site vaguely up-to-date?
Hmm, time to file it in the 'trash' I feel.
Ah, here's another one.
It gives a firm name/location/start date/salary
Looks good so far...
Areas of law;
- Criminal-good
- Welfare-very good
- Immigration-couldn't be better
What!!!!!
So, in the class proper we tackled our last topic-TUPE (pronounced 'chew-pea'). This won't mean a lot to non-lawyers, so the quick explanation is that when a business (or part) is sold the employees must be transferred with it on the same terms and conditions as they were employed (Unless they are offered better terms and conditions by the new employer).
During the workshop, our tutor mentioned that the question we were answering was a 'typical exam type question'.
Another group, I have been informed were told rather less cryptically that this was very likely to appear in an exam. Now, fair enough it does cover a fair part of the syllabus-as well as TUPE, you can squeeze in unfair and wrongful dismissal and maybe a bit of misconduct, statutory disciplinary procedure and if you're lucky, redundancy.
Another question on discrimination (not indirect-too fiddley) and one involving filling in a claim form and that's the exam sorted.
(Editor's note: this information is by way of example and does not reflect the actual 'Employment Law' paper as set by the College for 2007)
Dammit-curse my State school upbringing for depriving me of a career opportunity. I was only offered French, German or Latin. If I only had gone to the school a few miles further on down the road where patois was part of the syllabus...
OK, that may be where the bulk of my apathy is coming from; sheer mind-numbing terror about the future.
Mmm, that makes sense I guess.
This was the last proper week of learning workshops-it looks like the classes for the last week are a chance to consolidate our knowledge in what appears to be full sessions of representation and advocacy on some of our cases.
Before the employment class started, our 'stand-in' tutor asked us to fill in tutor evaluation forms for her. She should have realised how bad this was going to be when one of the class (not me) asked if she wanted 'tactful or truthful?'. But in her usual blythe way she asked that we be truthful.
Mmm, truthful and anonymous-that could be a bad combination...
Lets just say that for 5 criteria each marked out of 5, she may have made double figures if I added them all.
OK, that may be where the bulk of my apathy is coming from; sheer mind-numbing terror about the future.
Mmm, that makes sense I guess.
This was the last proper week of learning workshops-it looks like the classes for the last week are a chance to consolidate our knowledge in what appears to be full sessions of representation and advocacy on some of our cases.
Before the employment class started, our 'stand-in' tutor asked us to fill in tutor evaluation forms for her. She should have realised how bad this was going to be when one of the class (not me) asked if she wanted 'tactful or truthful?'. But in her usual blythe way she asked that we be truthful.
Mmm, truthful and anonymous-that could be a bad combination...
Lets just say that for 5 criteria each marked out of 5, she may have made double figures if I added them all.
So, in the class proper we tackled our last topic-TUPE (pronounced 'chew-pea'). This won't mean a lot to non-lawyers, so the quick explanation is that when a business (or part) is sold the employees must be transferred with it on the same terms and conditions as they were employed (Unless they are offered better terms and conditions by the new employer).
During the workshop, our tutor mentioned that the question we were answering was a 'typical exam type question'.
Another group, I have been informed were told rather less cryptically that this was very likely to appear in an exam. Now, fair enough it does cover a fair part of the syllabus-as well as TUPE, you can squeeze in unfair and wrongful dismissal and maybe a bit of misconduct, statutory disciplinary procedure and if you're lucky, redundancy.
Another question on discrimination (not indirect-too fiddley) and one involving filling in a claim form and that's the exam sorted.
(Editor's note: this information is by way of example and does not reflect the actual 'Employment Law' paper as set by the College for 2007)
But I bet it's pretty close...
It's Tuesday! Hurrah, my birthday! And for the first time in about 20 years I have to work. Oh.
However, I was determined that nothing was going to ruin my day.
We also got tutor evaluation forms for both his workshops (highest praise) and his lecturing (hmm, tact or truth?)-in the end I went for tact. He is a good lecturer but just seems bored with it all.
That night, a class meal had been organised as a 'last get-together' before the final set of exams. It was a fantastic occasion-especially for me. The meal was combined with a birthday do with me as the guest of honour. I was given a card signed by my classmates (and that I shall keep forever) as well as a few carefully chosen gifts. There is something very special about a gift that has been chosen with a person in mind. I hope that I remember this when I am tempted to buy a voucher or book token for someone. (but I doubt it...)
Anyhow, after the meal, we went pubbies and then back to a student's (palatial) flat where even more alcohol was inbibed and I rolled out at gone 3am to hit my bed at 3.30. Which gave me about 3 1/2 hours before I had to get up and complete my studies for Wednesday
But before I get to that, 3 highlights
Although an extreme, it is not uncommon to read, 'I wouldn't describe myself as drunk, I only had 3 bottles of wine, 8 pints and a few whiskey chasers. I was definitely merry but no more than that'. With that in mind, I am proposing some new offences;
The rest of the bad news is that my hangover kicked in about 1 hour into the class. Ho hum.
That's about it for the week, just add a lot of consolidation on Thursday and a token attempt to work on Friday and Saturday and we're nearly done.
Except...
I sent an email to my classmates during the week and since this blog should reflect all that happens to me I want to share it.
"I would like to thank everyone who helped contribute to making Tuesday night a wonderful one for me. I am truly touched by the warmth and affection that is shared by our tutor group.
As some of you may know, I was very apprehensive about this year and what sort of students I would be 'lumped' in with. As the year comes to a close I would like to put it on the record that I have been privileged to have spent that time with some of the brightest, kindest and most likeable people I have ever met.
Thanks guys, not only for Tuesday but for making this year one of the most fun and enjoyable ones of my life."
And I can write that with 100% sincerity, for those people who have read from the start I was truly concerned about being put with students who were;
Despite the fact that I am closer to their parents ages (and maybe older than one or two), I have received nothing but acceptance from my classmates-and will be eternally grateful for that.
And on the flip-side, knowing me may just make one or two of them look more closely at their parents and think, 'well, OK, they'll never be as cool as Paul but they're alright' (**cough**) or even after they've made their pile from this lawyering business, to chuck it in for a year and go back to school and learn some new stuff.
The more astute of you will be asking, 'Why 'Celebrations and Commiserations' as a title, Paul?' Where's the commiserating? Celebrating I can just take but where's the usual whining?
So, as an aside-today I went up to Wembley to watch Exeter City play Morecombe in the Conference play-off final with the prize being a place in the lowest tier of the football league. Wembley was fantastic, an amazing stadium with a brilliant view (but high-very high where we were-and I don't like heights!)
I travelled up with some Exeter supporting mates and Exeter did not win. A shame to have come so far on the journey (talking metaphysically here and not in terms of motorways) then to have it abruptly denied them at the end.
So, commiserations to Exeter. Next year, eh lads?
It's Tuesday! Hurrah, my birthday! And for the first time in about 20 years I have to work. Oh.
However, I was determined that nothing was going to ruin my day.
- It rained on me on the way to school-so what?
- My notes got a tad soggy-so what?
- Class overran-so what?
- It rained on me during my walk back-so what? I'm still wet from the walk in!
We also got tutor evaluation forms for both his workshops (highest praise) and his lecturing (hmm, tact or truth?)-in the end I went for tact. He is a good lecturer but just seems bored with it all.
That night, a class meal had been organised as a 'last get-together' before the final set of exams. It was a fantastic occasion-especially for me. The meal was combined with a birthday do with me as the guest of honour. I was given a card signed by my classmates (and that I shall keep forever) as well as a few carefully chosen gifts. There is something very special about a gift that has been chosen with a person in mind. I hope that I remember this when I am tempted to buy a voucher or book token for someone. (but I doubt it...)
Anyhow, after the meal, we went pubbies and then back to a student's (palatial) flat where even more alcohol was inbibed and I rolled out at gone 3am to hit my bed at 3.30. Which gave me about 3 1/2 hours before I had to get up and complete my studies for Wednesday
But before I get to that, 3 highlights
- A young lady (who was both tired and 'merry') privately pointing out to me that I was neither 'old' or 'fat'. Wahay! I could be in there...if only College was not coming to an end...dammit!
- A male member of our group showing his tiredness and merriment by passing out. This meant that his 'friends' had a field day with his limp body. By the time he came to, he was plastered in make-up, permanent marker, had had his shirt unbuttoned and an item of intimate female apparel put onto him. I realise that this was grossly immature and irresponsible. The only defence I can make is-it seemed hysterically funny (in my condition) at the time!!
- I returned home with more money than I went out with (my meal and all my drinks were paid for)-and a whip round was made for a tip but it was turned down as service was included on the bill-so rather than try to split it, it was given to me. Result!
Although an extreme, it is not uncommon to read, 'I wouldn't describe myself as drunk, I only had 3 bottles of wine, 8 pints and a few whiskey chasers. I was definitely merry but no more than that'. With that in mind, I am proposing some new offences;
- Merry and disorderly
- Merry driving
- Being found merry in charge of a vehicle...
The rest of the bad news is that my hangover kicked in about 1 hour into the class. Ho hum.
That's about it for the week, just add a lot of consolidation on Thursday and a token attempt to work on Friday and Saturday and we're nearly done.
Except...
I sent an email to my classmates during the week and since this blog should reflect all that happens to me I want to share it.
"I would like to thank everyone who helped contribute to making Tuesday night a wonderful one for me. I am truly touched by the warmth and affection that is shared by our tutor group.
As some of you may know, I was very apprehensive about this year and what sort of students I would be 'lumped' in with. As the year comes to a close I would like to put it on the record that I have been privileged to have spent that time with some of the brightest, kindest and most likeable people I have ever met.
Thanks guys, not only for Tuesday but for making this year one of the most fun and enjoyable ones of my life."
And I can write that with 100% sincerity, for those people who have read from the start I was truly concerned about being put with students who were;
- In their own minds my superior since they had got the degrees from a 'proper' polyversity
- Cliquey
- Bitchy/snide
- Discriminatory
- As thick as a whale sandwich-what with 'A' levels being so easy now that you can get them with box-tops of your favourite cereal (I have been proved wrong on this one by the way before the poison pen letters start...)
Despite the fact that I am closer to their parents ages (and maybe older than one or two), I have received nothing but acceptance from my classmates-and will be eternally grateful for that.
And on the flip-side, knowing me may just make one or two of them look more closely at their parents and think, 'well, OK, they'll never be as cool as Paul but they're alright' (**cough**) or even after they've made their pile from this lawyering business, to chuck it in for a year and go back to school and learn some new stuff.
You never know...
The more astute of you will be asking, 'Why 'Celebrations and Commiserations' as a title, Paul?' Where's the commiserating? Celebrating I can just take but where's the usual whining?
So, as an aside-today I went up to Wembley to watch Exeter City play Morecombe in the Conference play-off final with the prize being a place in the lowest tier of the football league. Wembley was fantastic, an amazing stadium with a brilliant view (but high-very high where we were-and I don't like heights!)
I travelled up with some Exeter supporting mates and Exeter did not win. A shame to have come so far on the journey (talking metaphysically here and not in terms of motorways) then to have it abruptly denied them at the end.
So, commiserations to Exeter. Next year, eh lads?
posted by Paul Salmon at
6:49 pm
